Underneath It All

A Meditation on Isaiah 22

“For the believer who still needs healing… and is brave enough to admit it.”

This meditation was written while I was in South Africa on a missions tour. Every morning,  members of our group were asked to lead a devotional on our way to the destinations for the day. I hadn’t volunteered. In fact, I didn’t plan on participating at all. I was prepared to support, to observe, to serve quietly.

But one morning, the sister coordinating our devotionals pulled me aside. She said, “The Holy Spirit nudged her to ask me to speak”. She didn’t have specifics, just that I’d have a few minutes to share whatever God placed on my heart.

This meditation was for the leaders and ministers on the missions tour. But this applies to us believers. 

Isaiah 22:5
“The Lord, the Lord Almighty, has a day of tumult and trampling and terror in the Valley of Vision, a day of battering down walls and of crying out to the mountains.”

Isaiah 22:8–11
“The Lord stripped away the defenses of Judah, and you looked in that day to the weapons in the Palace of the Forest. You saw that the walls of the City of David were broken through in many places; you stored up water in the Lower Pool. You counted the buildings in Jerusalem and tore down houses to strengthen the wall. You built a reservoir between the two walls for the water of the Old Pool, but you did not look to the One who made it, or have regard for the One who planned it long ago.”

The people of Jerusalem were trying to survive. They were patching walls, building reserves, securing their defense systems, all the while forgetting “the One who made it, or have regard for the One who planned it long ago.”

That message still speaks today.
It’s not just about ministry.
It’s about us.

Even as believers, we can start relying on what we’ve learned, what we’ve done, or what we’ve built, rather than trusting the One who carried us through in the first place. Whether you serve in church, show up to church service, or haven’t stepped foot in a sanctuary in months…years. This reflection is for all of us who’ve ever been tempted to depend on ourselves more than we lean on God.

What’s Rising to the Surface?

That time in South Africa, I broke out — my skin reacting in a way I hadn’t seen before. It got worse by the day. As I looked in the mirror, I thought:
What else is surfacing? What have you kept beneath the surface for so long that now it’s breaking through?

That breakout became a metaphor.
And maybe it is for you, too.

What’s been festering under the surface, in your faith, your identity, your relationships, or your heart? What emotions, memories, doubts, or wounds have you tried to cover up with routines or distractions?
What pain have you tucked away until now?

Sometimes the shaking isn’t punishment.
It’s God’s invitation to address what’s been buried.

Not Just for Leaders. This Is for the Lingerers, Too.

We often talk about ministry burnout, church hurt, and or spiritual fatigue as if those things only apply to pastors and leaders. But what about the rest of us?

Those who serve silently.
Those who attend, but feel invisible.
Those who are still healing from things no one in church ever asked about.

You don’t need a title to need restoration.
You don’t have to hold a mic to be holding back tears.

This chapter, and this moment, is for every believer who has ever put their faith on autopilot and quietly wondered,  "Am I still trusting God… or just going through the motions?"

A Personal Reflection & Gentle Invitation

That morning, I didn’t feel qualified to speak. But as I stood before the pastors, ministers, and leadership team, I realized God wasn’t asking for polish,  just honesty. Maybe that’s all God’s asking from us now, too.

So I invite you to reflect with me:

• Where have you been depending on your own strength more than God’s?

• What needs to be shaken in your personal life — not to break you, but to wake you?

• Are there areas in your heart, relationships, and or faith walk that God is asking to heal?

• Have you mistaken consistency for closeness?

• Have you relied on old revelation without making room for fresh intimacy with God?

Let this be a space not for perfection but for pause.
Not for performance but for presence.A moment to acknowledge that you are still the Beloved, even as God continues to shape and minister to you.

You’re not behind. You’re not disqualified. You’re not too late. 

You’re here, Beloved.
And that’s enough.

For the One who sees beneath it all.